There are moments in professional life that are memorable because they are more than just an episode. They are small lessons about leadership, communication and integrity. One of these moments has burned itself into my memory and it began with an unpleasant message that did not come directly to me.
My boss had decided that a certain process – let’s call it process X – should be implemented. But instead of telling me himself, he sent the facilitator forward. “Bernd, the boss has said that you should now start with process X.”
The problem: Both of us, my boss and I, had previously agreed that I could try out process Y first. A path that seemed more sensible to me and an experiment that we had decided on together. So now this U-turn, and that too via a messenger.
I immediately felt that I couldn’t just accept this news. Not because I stubbornly wanted to stick to process Y, but because it was about something more fundamental: clarity, commitment and responsibility for decisions.
So I didn’t answer the facilitator, but addressed my words to the one who was in charge: “Boss, the facilitator told me that process X had to be implemented. Will you talk to him that we have both agreed to implement Process Y, or should I tell him?”
Boom. The question came back like a boomerang. Now he had to take a stand himself. No more evasion, no more indirect messages.
My findings
1- Indirect communication may seem convenient in the short term, but it creates uncertainty and mistrust. Those who demand clarity create commitment.
2- Leadership means not delegating decisions when things get uncomfortable. By playing back the responsibility, I clarified the rules of the game.
3- I did not protest loudly, but simply referred to our agreement. This consequence made it difficult for my boss to wriggle out of it.
Looking back, it was a ritual of clarification. A moment in which it became clear that leadership not only works from top to bottom, but can also be mirrored from bottom to top.
For me, it was a confirmation: If you act with attitude and clarity, you change the dynamic. Sometimes a single sentence is enough to bring responsibility back to where it belongs.
>> And what do you think happened? Did my boss follow my logic and let me implement process Y? Or did it remain with trial X?
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My name is Bernd Scharbert and I am happy to accompany and advise when it comes to preparing difficult decisions in business, to leading difficult conversations or when finding an elephant in the room. If these topics resonate with you, let’s talk.
